Two-Minute Blog Post

Oy, gente! I am in Brazil--Quissama, RJ to be exact. This is the town where Becca lives, and we are staying at a cool house for the next few days. The first few were spent in Petropolis, a small German mountain town. It is much, much warmer down here, about 90 today I'd say. The sun literally feels like a big ball of fire, it's amazing. And it's winter here.

No major events or mishaps to report, smooth sailing thus far. Yes, the cab driver from the airpo0rt to the bus station tried to fleece me. He succeeded to a point, but I also scored a victory, too, paying only about half what he wanted.

Alright, gotta go to the beach and barbecue and all that, good times. Tschau!

Sunday Conversation

***This is salmon, a sad (but tasty) piece of salmon from Saturday dinner.***

Bernie loved salmon, if you recall, I fed it to her as part of the Bernie stew I made for her the last six months of her beautiful life. Chad likes salmon too.

So, I am scheduled to be flying the friendly skies from Atlanta to Rio a mere 48 hours from now. It's a big trip, to say the least. I will fly about 17,000 miles on this trip--1,000 Minneapolis to Atlanta, 5,000 Atlanta to Rio, and 2,500 from Rio to Manaus. Double that for the round-trip total of 17,000. Wow.

Flying in and of itself doesn't cause me much angst. Of course, when you're basically just tossing your life aside and going to a faraway land that is virtually unknown, your tummy can get a little sour thinking about that. I'm pretty good by now, a couple weeks ago I had some mainly subconscious stress over the whole thing. One thing I've learned, though, is that things are almost always dynamite once you get there and get into it. Therefore, for the past couple weeks I've just been like, Let's Get It On!!! Come Tuesday, I shall. I go to the Amazon on July 20, for those of you keeping score at home, and will return to the Rio vicinity about a week later. It all shall be a hoot, I tell ya. Here's to good health, a key factor in all this for certain.

I must say, any trepidation I have is much subdued compared to when I had Bernie and was prepping for a trip. It's easy to judge a doggie's state of mind when you're mere feet apart. It's rather impossible when you're half a world away. I went to Sweden a few years ago for two weeks, which was the longest I'd ever left my dear puppy. She was a daddy's girl, for sure, had some separation issues that though mild were a little unsettling when I was away for extended periods. You know that she is obsessing, thinking really of nothing else but you while your gone. Wondering with every sound if dear ol' Dad is home. You just don't know, though, how hard it is or isn't on them. The pack mentality tells them you'll return, but I also think the pack mentality tells them to go find you, that you've met distress. Of course, we won't let them do that, so what's a dog to think?

So I'll leave here, my home in good hands, my body and mind slowly freeing itself temporarily from my life. It will be different this time, though. While I won't be missing Bernie (aside from the way I always miss her now), I will miss someone and a cute little furry canine. And you'll have to tune in tomorrow to find out whom and what the hell I'm talking about. G'night.

Nature

***Chillin' on the bed, so cute. 2004***

I mentioned once, I think, that there were times when I'd look at Bernie and would be kind of mesmerized, that there is a live animal in my house. It lives there. It's cool but also strange. The whole dog-human thing, started by some accounts with humans corraling dogs back in the day to protect their homes, livestock, possessions. Humans came to like the creatures and vice versa. Thus the relationship began.

I think it's important that people, humans, realize we are live organisms, a simple though dominant species in a vast ecosystem. Our health and happiness, I believe, can at least in part be influenced by our connection to nature. We need to spend time outside, in the sun and in the rain. Our windows need to be open, we need to eat fresh foods that come directly from the Earth. I've always felt the happiness and long-term health of my dogs was connected to them spending ample time outside, alone, where they can grasp their connection to nature. They do understand this, I know Bernie did. You could just see it when you observed her outside, the zen mindset, understanding she was part of something bigger than our relationship. She was a part of nature. We are parts of nature.

Moving to Tahoe by myself had a profound impact on me, outside of the obvious social and growth effects moving 1,500 miles away from home by yourself has. You can't help when surrounded by nothing but nature realizing that you are part of something bigger, that no matter how independent you are, you are dependent on much. I spent so, so much time in the mountains with Bernie, us both feeling out our place in the bigger scheme. I watched her, watched her instincts. You could see where she comes from, domesticated over time yet wild at heart. How does a sheep dog know how to herd, without seeing an example or being taught? How does a pet know how to snap the neck of a squirrel to kill it instantly?

In reading about the Amazon, fascinating reading through and through, one of the author's--I'm reading so many books I don't remember which--stated that part of the reason he went to the Amazon was to further embrace his connection with nature in the sense of feeding his soul and body the elements, elements most of us never even grasp are relevant to us. Does it go so far as the hippie philosophy that we are all appendages of one big "creature"? I don't know. We are all part of something bigger. When people do and say really selfish things, and specifically I think of many politicians, I often want to ask, "Do you realize you are going to die? That you really are fairly insignificant, as we all are when it comes right down to it? Why must you impose your special-interest will upon the masses, when the masses do not want what you preach? What's in it for you, you will be gone while your ignorance, short-sightedness, and closed mind propogate over generations." It is why the greater good is important, we are all part of something much greater. Everyone needs to know this, to live their life in deference to this, at least to some degree. Grow a garden, take a hike, lay in the grass and stare at the sky, go on a trip where innumerable creatures can humble you till death with one sharp bite.

So I look forward to my forthcoming massive encounter with nature. I respect it immensely, particularly since my days in the Sierra Nevada, not because I want to be called green or because I want people to think I'm cool, and not because I'm deeper philisophically than anyone else. I adore nature because it is omnipresent, it's important, and once a piece of it is gone, it's gone. Do you know that 70 percent of all the oxygen in the world is generated by the Amazon rain forests? So who the hell are we, creatures of something far bigger, badder, and deffer than the human race ever will be, to say, "It's just a tree. It's just a jungle. It's just a stinky animal . . . burn it down, I WANT RUBBER!" Nature writes a conclusion for each of us, it's there waiting for us all, and while that conclusion often comes to soon or sharp for our liking, it's necessary. It's why I understood and understand why Bernie is gone, others are gone, and others will go. I will embrace the opportunity to see--feel--nature at its finest, in the Amazon, and will adore untold sights and will likely sink at others, pitiful sights brought on by man without cause or concern for the vast picture. In the end, though, it will be an experience to further humble my perception of the big-picture purpose of my and your existence. Simpler, though, is that it's a chance to gaze at the birds, the trees, and animals in their blessed relatively untouched natural habitat. Sounds like a day in the life of a happy, healthy dog.

Days of My Life

There are days

When it is harder than hard

Harder than I'd ever admit

To think that my A-1 love

Bernie

Is never here again

Not in my house

In my yard

In my car

Not by my side

Always in my heart

Ever-able to make me feel better

Make the world a little nicer

For me

And with that

For those who know me

It builds up

Sadness

I won't cry

I talk to her

Pretend she is here

Near

Music to my ears

My own voice

Creating sounds

Sounds for Bernie

I want to hear her sing

There is only one of her

Lots of good ones in the world

Only one of her

The one I want

That slice of pie

A really sweet spot of my sweet life

Is a hole

Hungry