Back in the Saddle

***Bernie at one year; Winter 1994-95***

Man, that photo is a gem. I honestly just stumbled upon it today when I was sifting through my bookcase for something different altogether. If not the earliest photo I have of her, it's darned close. I told you she was a scrawny little thing when I adopted her. Click on the photo for an even better look.

Vegas was fabulous, just as the sign says. A little gambling, a couple of cocktails, a lot of sunshine, lots of lovely and not-so-lovely human beings . . . just what the doctor ordered. I didn't run into Sigma Derby, but I did go to O'Shea's. The place hasn't changed a lick, probably even the same carpet. As I mentioned, Bernie and I almost moved there. Bernie would've had a love-hate relationship with Vegas. The heat would have been oppressive for a furry thing like her, but likely I would have had a house with a pool--and Bernie is all about pools.

My first trip to Vegas was in the summer of 1992, to visit my college friend Kristin, who lived there. At this point in time, the Mirage was the crown jewel of the town. While no longer holding that title, it's still one of my favorite spots, and I spent a fair amount of time there this weekend. I love Steve Wynn. So with Vegas in mind, here are some unsolicited thoughts and observations about Sin City:

• Tip the help. Trust me when I say it is a difficult job to put on your happy face 40+ hours a week to hundreds if not thousands of people, many who are drunk and exuding an attitude of entitlement (not you, of course).
• Coins are a thing of the past. Bills go in, vouchers come out. No more black hands, change people, fills, and coin jams--and no more clang, clang, clang, though the slot machines now simulate this sound. This saves casinos millions of dollars in overhead, all of which they funnel back to you, the player. Yeah, right.
• No matter your poison, be it shows, dining, gambling, drinking, be prepared to drop a pretty penny while you're there. The town sucks money out of you one way or another, so accept this going in.
• With that in mind, stay somewhere that you'll enjoy--somewhere you can leisurely kill as much time as possible to limit the money-sucking moments. The extra money you spend staying at a nice, full-service joint will save you dough in the long run.
• Caesars Palace is the best, and I say that with no bias. In fact, I'd be apt to harshly criticize it rather than dote on it. There are nicer places, but Caesars is best at having something for everyone, at a variety of price levels, and simply gushes a positive casino/gaming experience.
• Check out the Wynn Casino and its encore, aptly called Encore. Always check out Wynn's newest endeavor.
• Sorry, parents, but leave your kids at home. There is no more ridiculous place on Earth to take children than Las Vegas. Nevada state law strictly prohibits under 21 from being on the casino floor, so save yourself some frustration and casino workers a lot of breath by leaving junior at home. That roller coaster at New York-New York is for lovers.
• The odds suck more than ever, especially on the strip. No 6/9 poker, on single zero roulette, no low limits, very rarely more than 2x odds on dice. It is what it is.
• If you're a gambler, never pay for a drink. Never. Hint: Go place a $5 bet in the race book and get a free-drink ticket, it's the cheapest way to go.
• Speaking of the race book, don't use your cell phone within a race and sports book. That is the one millionth time I've said that in the past 15 years.
• Never stay more than three nights; I recommend two. Also, get the heck out of town as early as possible on the day you leave.
• Unless you are one of the 1 percent who walks out of that town with a profit, all expenses factored in, you will part with a chunk of change. Deal with it and don't let it ruin a fabulous time in a fabulous town.
• Think you're going to stay with a Vegas-resident friend while you're there? Read this first (read it anyway, it's amusing).
• Did I mention tip the help?

Tomorrow, a special 1-20-09 entry.