Thoughts

***Poochie and Bernie, not long after I adopted Bernie; Lake Tahoe, 1994***

Fabulous ER tonight, I think there are only two left . . . forever. Noah Wyle (Dr. John Carter) rejoined the cast for the last six episodes. Tonight, Eriq LaSalle (Dr. Peter Benton), Juliana Marguiles (Nurse Carol Hathaway), and everyone's favorite, George Clooney (Dr. Doug Ross) walked the set. No surprise that there were some excellent surgical shots and a dazzling score, to boot.

I dined with my mother this evening, told her that I don't like living without a dog. I don't, but I'll do it for a while. A big furry mass of character is gone from my life. To continue with the remembrance mood, here's a list of all the times I think of buddy Bernie each day:

• When I wake up in the morning. I always said "Hi Bernie" promptly.
• When I come back upstairs after my shower. Her last couple years, I'd have to rouse the little puppy, though only with a tap on her butt.
• When I go back downstairs in the morning. I'd let her out, feed and water her.
• All through my quick breakfast. I'd let her in, out, in, out--Bernie could never make up her mind.
• When I leave. The last year or so, I walked her for five minutes before I left.
• When I leave. "Bye, Bernie. You be good. I'll be back."
• A few random times during my workday, particularly when I feel like crawling under a rock for one reason or another.
• Everytime I eat. I always saved my last bite for Bernie.
• When I'm about to go home from work. "I get to see Bernie now!"
• When I get home. Formerly, she'd dash along the fence to greet me and my car. Later, her pretty lil head would be peering out the door.
• All through the evening. Walk time! And I miss the many pats and pets, and simply watching her do her thing.
• When I go up to bed. It's too easy now, I just get up and go. "Come on, Bernie!"
• Upstairs. Bones, two bones every night. She was a good catch till the end. Sharp eyes she had, brilliant.
• Bedtime. I dedicated a couple minutes each night to pet her and love her.
• Lights out. "Goodnight Bernie, goodnight Poochie."
• Anytime I wake up in the night. I'd always say something to her, often pet her.
• I've dreamed about her every night for the past week or so.