I Am a Dog

I saw a couple Old English Sheepdogs prancing down the street with their owner yesterday. They had summer cuts, growing out a bit by this time. My former Sheepdog, Poochie, was a very social creature. She was also a really good climber. I used to come home from high school and she'd be in the neighbor's front yard, visiting with the younger children at play. She'd climb the chain linked fence that bordered our yard. She'd climb that sucker like a human, all for the joy of mingling with the common folk.

Speaking of socialization, my skillz constantly amaze me. You see, I went to a barbecue today where I knew no one except Beth, and while my expectation isn't such, I'm always conscious of the possibility that I will make a complete jack ass out of myself--like they just won't get me. Not that I'm that hard to get, in fact I'm rather easy to get, especially in a short "surface" encounter. Try to get to know me further, well, that just might be another story. My jack-ass-potential recognition isn't the result of paranoia or even simple fear. Rather, I think it's spawned by the fact that we all attend this or that gathering and there is one bloke who just comes off as an idiot, a dork, or the adjective of your choice. Tonight, that wasn't me, and fortunately, it rarely is. There wasn't one at the barbecue, unless you count the bees that were prevelant and annoying, but didn't have the cajones to actually sting anyone. Weak.

Business functions always make me laugh, generally in hindsight--where I leave this or that collection of "important" people and think, "Wow, I nailed that. How the hell did that happen?" I went to a lunchoen this past week, topic was inflation. My mother was there soaking in the information, as was I, it presented in circles in the manner only economists can do, and she commented to me following, "You have such wonderful social graces." Indeed, and granted it was my mom, but it's the first time "grace" in any context, save for being preceeded by "lack of," was used in utterance of moi. I'm generally quite pleased if I don't drop an F bomb at an innapropriate time, so grace is a big bonus.

I did figure out at some point in my adult life (I use the term adult to refer to post-undergrad years, even though in my case I actually hit full adulthood closer to the time I finished graduate school, which wasn't that long ago) that most people are alright. Nobody intimidates me, it's more just a matter of if I think you're a tool or not and if I can withstand another moment of conversation with you without drooling as my eyes slowly shut, or in extreme cases, vomiting in dissatisfaction. I have social grace though, hear me roar, and am quite adept at keeping said fluids where they belong.

There aren't a ton of people who make me jump and wag my tail, quite frankly, so I'm certainly not a Sheepdog. On the flipside, I never bite, so I'm not a pit bull. More so, I am like a Chow-Chow, sniffing out the scene and then coyly backing my aloof self out said encounter, to sniff elsewhere, ultimately taking myself to those who do make me jump and wag my tail, to those who bring me joy. I love to leave my yard but am always glad to return.