Bright Light

I put the cards away today, Bernie's sympathy cards. Today I saw a spot in the basement good for them, as opposed to their 18-month home in my main room, so tonight I transitioned them.

I'm big about moving on, from both good and bad. Progress, that's always what matters, progress. I have progressed a bunch since I lost my little buddy, it's a completely new life for me. I had a great life, have a great life, but it's now completely different. Determined to progress, I've resisted getting another dog and will continue to. It's the easy way out for me, to get another.

The cards don't make me sad. I'm always a bit sad about that, longing, though it's usually tucked away somewhere within. It's an emotional topic, the disappearance of something or someone from your life, and the disappearance of a life itself with it. What those cards represent illicits nothing that isn't there already.

Among the sympathy cards were others, happier cards. I looked at some, some generated emotion as I browsed them all and read some. New emotion where apparently a void had been. I wondered, where has this emotion been? I should have been warmer, but it just didn't hold.

So the sympathy cards are in the basement. Maybe the history they represent is a little farther, maybe even a little healthier distance away. My heart a little more open.