Comedy Gold

***You are required to watch this one-minute vid before you read this post. But don't watch it more than once, because you'll probably vomit.***

I met Dick Van Patten. It was the first year that I worked at Caesars Tahoe, in the race and sports book. At that time, I was a ticket "writer" . . . you wanted to bet the ponies or a game, you saw me or one of my fab colleagues. (For the record, my three years in the race and sports book at Caesars were three of the more interesting and hilarious years of my life.)

Anyway, Dick Van Patten was there one day, and I took special note because I used to love "Eight Is Enough". As you probably know, if you gamble in a Nevada casino, you get free booze. You know how it works. You just sit there at your slot machine or table, play, order your drink from a cocktail server, and you have booze. It's a beautiful thing. It works a little different in race and sports books though. You see, all casinos have "fleas", individuals who hang around like fleas, day after day, and bet little or nothing, ever. They just leach drinks from the house. Sounds like fun. The easiest place for these cats to loiter is the race and sports books, where you can stare at the video screens and naive cocktail servers bring you drink after drink, oblivious to whether you are wagering or not. So in the book at Caesars, and most places to this day, you get drink tickets when you place your bets or by asking a supervisor. The latter was the policy at Caesars.

Anyway, Dick Van Patten was there one day, and this apparently wasn't his first time at Caesars Tahoe, though it was his first visit since I'd worked there. He made some bets (I honestly can't remember if he made them with me or not), then walked over to a supervisor, Dennis. Dennis is hilarious, super smart, though word on the street is he got canned at MGM ten-ish years ago for moving a betting line upon a bettor's request, which you can't do. But he's still hilarious. So Dick made his bets, starts walking back to his seat, and Dennis says, "Hi Dick. Do you want some drink tokes?" Dick said, "Sure," and Dennis replied, as he pulled a stack of drink tokes from his suit jacket, "Is eight enough?" 

Comedy gold. 

Later gators.