Harder Than You Think

***I think I posted this pic previously, but I failed to mention . . . this is Bernie on top of her doghouse. It used to snow enough in Tahoe for her to simply walk up on top of it, to bathe in the warm sunshine!***

Or harder than I think. I never spend a lot of time time moping, or feeling sorry for myself--or for anyone else, for that matter. I "mourned well," primarily concentrating my thinking about Bernie to blog time and the occasional recollection to a friend. I said many times starting many months ago that the hardest part when Bernie left would be adapting to the physical absence of her. I wouldn't be sad so much, for neither her nor I could have asked much more out life for her, in quality or quantity. No, I just knew that not having her to goof around with would be tough.

And here we are five weeks later, and it seems to be getting tougher. Maybe that's because of the heaping intensity I've had in my professional life of late--not necessarily bad stuff, not necessarily stressful . . . just intense. I long for that great equalizer at my feet, my big furry black dog, or my little buddy, as I call her. 

I think part of this chasm that only seems to be deepening is that the, "I'll never get to see her again" reality is settling in. We were so interconnected, she was so rarely out of my sightline when I was home. It's as if someone removed all the trees in your neighborhood: You would notice, everytime your eyes focused outside.

Weekends are the hardest. I have plenty going on week-round, but part of a weekend's relaxation is living a dog's life, relishing in the fact that puppy is happy and sleeping, you nearby. A tired dog is a happy dog. A happy master has a tired dog! 

Maybe I should rent a dog. You can do that, you know, in New York I think. You can rent dogs by the hour, to walk and stuff. I don't know the details but can only say that I hope the rent o' dogs come from the shelter. I doubt they do. Some greedy fool probably has a bunch kenneled, and they get rented once a week at best or something.

There are too many dogs in this world. Have your pet spayed or neutered, for gosh sakes.

It's Valentine's Day. Maybe I have a Valentine, maybe I don't. Bernie was a 24/7 - 365 Valentine.

Below is a video from Public Enemy, the song is titled "Harder Than You Think" off their 2008 twentieth anniversary album, How You Sell Soul to a Soulless People Who Sold Their Soul? PE is my all-time fav and one of the most important music acts ever. It's just too bad the media and the masses just don't get it. Chuck D is one of the smartest and most progressive people on the planet. He does speaking tours, often through black student unions. Check him out. He should be our next president. Anyway, as you watch and listen to this, "learn the words, you might sing this," to quote a 1987 PE release--the lyrics are beneath the video. 

Happy Valentine's Day to you, and to Bernie, and to Chuck D, and to Flavor Flav, and to the S1Ws . . . and remember, if you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything.

What goes on?

Rollin stones of the rap game not braggin

Lips bigger than jagger, not saggin

Spell it backwards I'm a leave it at that...

That ain't got nothin to do with rap

Check the facts expose those cats

Who pose as heros and take advantage of blacks

Your governments gangster so cut the crap

A war goin on so where you at?

Fight the power comes great responsiblity

F the police but whos stoppin you from killin me?

Disasters, fiascos over a loop by pe

If it's an I instead of we

Believin tv

Spittin riches, bitches, and this new thing about snitches

Watch them asses move the masses switches

System dissed them but barely missed her

My soul intention to save my brothers and sisters

Get up Hard... just like that Get up Hard... just like that Get up Hard... just like that Get up Hard... just like that

Screamin gangsta 20 years later

Of course endorsed while consciousness faded

New generations believing them fables

Gangster boogie on two turntables

Show no love so it's easy to hate it

Desecrated while the coroner waited

Any given sunday so where ya'll rate it?

With slavery, lynching, and them drugs infiltrated

I'm like that doll chuckie, baby

Keep comin back to live love life like I'm crazy

Keep it movin risin to the top

Doug fresh clean livin you don't stop

Revolution means change

Don't look at me strange

So I can't repeat what other rappers be sayin

You don't stand for something

You fall for anything

Harder than you think

It's a beautiful thing

Get up Hard... just like that Get up Hard... just like that Get up Hard... just like that Get up Hard... just like that

So it's time to leave you a preview

So you too can review what we do

20 years in this business

How you sell sell soul, g wiz

People bear witness

Thank you for lettin us be ourself

So don't mind me if I repeat myself

These simple lines be good for your health

To keep them crime rhymes on the shelf

Live life love like you just don't care

5000 leaders never scared

Bring the noise it's the moment they fear

Get up still a beautiful idea

Get up

Throw yo hands in the air

Get up show no fear

Get up if ya'll really care

Pe 20 years

Now get up

Get up

Hard... just like that

Get up

Hard... just like that

Get up

Hard... just like that

Get up

Hard... just like that